Do You Have A Soul Mate?

Starbuck and I visited the cinema on the evening of the 23/04/2012. Starbuck had tickets for an exclusive advance preview of Cafe De Flore. Cafe De Flore is an incredible film from director Jean-Marc Vallee. It is a French film subtitled in English. Cafe De Flore is a love story about people seperated by time and place but connected in profound and mysterious ways. The film chronicles the parallel fates of a fiercely devoted single mother with her young son in 1960's Paris and a successful DJ in modern day Montreal, balancing the demands of his career, his new relationship, his daughters and his ex. An elegant, emotionally truthful drama unfolds, exploring forces we seldom acknowledge and rarely understand. Cafe De Flore is truly delightful, thought provoking and sincere but this is not a review.







The film presents a question. The question is do you have a soulmate? It is a question I will attempt to answer. The idea of soulmates is one I like to entertain. I do not fully understand the concept of soulmates but I do know that it is a concept that cannot be defined simply. There is no evidence that can be presented to prove or disprove the notion of souls and soulmates beyond the philosophical rhetoric on the topic. So what is a soulmate? What is a soul first of all?
Many different religious beliefs and philosophies offer different views on the soul but the generally accepted concept is that the soul is the immortal, incorporeal essence of a person, living thing or object. Some beliefs argue that only human beings possess immortal souls and a possible union with the divine. Others believe that not only all biological entities have souls but also non-biological entities possess souls.

A premise for the notion of soulmates is offered in Plato's The Symposium (a philosophical text by Plato dated 385-380 BC). Plato has Aristophanes present a story about soul mates. Aristophanes states that humans originally had four arms, four legs, and a single head made of two faces, but Zeus feared their power and split them all in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half to complete them.
Theosophy postulates that souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or "separation from God." Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together. 


Nowadays the Urban Dictionary defines soulmate as:-

 "A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet. A connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before. As this connection develops over time, you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior. Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them. And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime. You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful."
The scientific community does have opinions on the notion of human souls but tends to treat the soul as a poetic synonym for the human mind. 

How I understand the concept of soulmates is that an individual soul is born on to the earth and will reincarnate over and over again into many different lives until the soul has completed it's journey and has become joined with it's soulmate. Upon meeting a soulmate, the definition offered by the Urban Dictionary matches my own thoughts on the subject. While I do find the notion of soulmates appealing, I do have some reservations. In order to entertain the possibility of soulmates I have to entertain the possibility of a immortal, divine soul. That means accepting the presence of a divine entity and while I do not disbelieve in the possibility 
of a god, I do consider myself agnostic when it comes 
to religious beliefs.

So do I think we all have a soul? Once again I can only state that I would like to think that there is an essence within us all defining our very being that can be called a soul but how do I know if I have a soul?
I asked my father once what a soul is. He said "You know when you hear music that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up?" "That's soul." he said. There is of course a perfectly reasonable explanation for the phenomenon of goosebumps (yes, phenomenon. Because it is phenomenal!) but if there is a more persuasive argument for the existence of souls, I have not heard it.

When it comes to soulmates what I have to ask myself is why can't everybody have theirs in their life? Why would anyone be happy settle for anything less than what a soulmate has to offer and why should they? If my soul is immortal and has lived many lives on earth before, how am I me? How am I unique? How were the other incarnations my soul took before it was me satisfied with their lives if they were not joined with their soulmate? Perhaps previous lives are used as a learning curve for a new soul and a soul will not want to find a soulmate until it is ready to do so. It has been stated that a soul which is not ready to meet its soulmate will not be able to handle the intensity of the emotions experienced at the premature meeting.


There is no evidence at all to support the existence of a soul or of soulmates. Anything that can be used to argue for the existence of a soul can be explained by the physical sciences but the more I question the existence of souls and soulmates the more I feel willing to accept the notion. Perhaps it's my soul speaking to me, making me understand that it just feels right. Or perhaps it's the universal fear of mortality that makes me want be able to justify this notion. To accept a premise that is in no way provable at all, based on a feeling that cannot be located inside my own body is quite absurd. I already know this but of any naysayers I would ask only one thing. Disprove it. If any evidence can be presented to argue against the existence of souls then I would reassess my stance on the topic but I believe that it is the complete and utter lack of evidence on both sides of the argument that gives the notion such strength.


Considering whether I have a soulmate and if Starbuck is in fact my soulmate. I contemplate upon what my perception of a soulmate is and if Starbuck fits that perception. Modern life leaves little room for spirituality. The Urban Dictionary's definition of soulmates is perhaps a watered down, non committal version of what was originally posed but I think that it is a very good generalization which does not require a bizarre origin story involving jealous Greek gods.


Starbuck does fit my perception of what a soulmate is and I like think that my own soul is happier when we are together. I believe I have not truly loved anybody else before Starbuck, during idle moments alone I often find myself in turmoil and not knowing what to do. I believe that the journey to find your soulmate is a difficult one and once found the journey taken with your soulmate can be tumultuous or even perilous. Soulmates sticking together on their journey is not as easy as it may first appear to be. Only those souls that are ready to be with their soulmate will be able complete the journey to its end.